crux:

After a minor medical scare with Oliver the other day, I realized that he is probably my only horcrux.

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thursday night at the movies:

I just got home from seeing Obvious Child again. I’ve actually been seeing a lot of movies lately:

1. Godzilla: Two ancient monsters want to fuck each other, which makes Godzilla mad, and as a result, terror & tyranny are created on a global level.

2. Obvious Child: A scorned comedienne gets an abortion on Valentines Day and subsequently discovers that she’s interested in her straight-laced, shegetz one night stand.

3. Deliver Us From Evil: An unconventional priest goes for a run & has a glass of whiskey; as he shuns a prostitute’s advances, evil spirits overtake a zoo and corpses rain from the sky.

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Finally, my hair is nearly long enough to tie around my neck.

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dark triangle:

My friend Alex sent me this great article about a corpse being mistaken for an April fools’s day prank.

Here is the rest of the conversation since I don’t have anything nice to write about.

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more on the gvsu corpse situation

After talking to Scott (who is way more street smart than I am) on the telephone today, I learned some new slang terms for cocaine, such as ‘white boy’. I’m going to look up more on the internet later.

In other news, after a blunt smoking incident, I accidentally spilled a whole vanilla milkshake on my back porch last Thursday while trying to deposit a stack of books into my apartment. As a result, my porch has smelled like a decomposing milkshake for days! God help me!

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dissolving teeth:

NEWSFLASH: Dead Body Falls out of Coroner Van, Lands in Road. “Coroner ‘deeply regrets incident.'”

In other news, over breakfast, it was discussed that Crystal Clear Pepsi was Pepsi’s answer to Coca-Cola, whose original recipe actually contained cocaine, cementing it’s reputation as the bad boy of the soda industry. Crystal Clear Pepsi, in turn, contained crystal meth, it’s clear color distancing itself from it’s burnt caramel colored, teeth-staining competition. Studies have shown that there is a direct correlation between soda consumption and eventual tooth decay, however, the meth in Crystal Clear Pepsi made consumer’s teeth fall out at an accelerated rate, so it didn’t last very long on the market, as those addicted to crystal meth have enough problems.

I’ve been pretty obsessed with drugs dissolved in sodas lately. See comic: Ruin Scott’s Life: Scott Goes to Jail (2014).

Once again, I’ve had another dystopian dream where many people are pursuing me in order to murder me (!). In this dream, I cannot leave this giant, old white Colonial*
house after dusk without the fear of getting my throat slit. I have variations of this dream every week; probably for years now. I wonder what it means. Haha!

*Am I a victim of colonialism; is white patriarchy trying to murder my dreams of drug-infused sodas? Oh my god!

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please remove your dentures and jewelry:

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Some love advice I found on the World Wide Web!

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and when he calls, he calls for me & not for you:

last night was punctuated by a kaleidoscope of very elaborate dreams. The clearest dream taking place in a busy classroom of an inner city boarding school. My dad had let Scott’s cat, Jones, run free in the classroom and had fed him tonic water. Horrified by this, I chastised him and then noticed that the door was ajar and went to go catch Jones before he got trampled/lost in the large school. The minute Jones was in my clutches, he snarled, his tiny inky body twisting out of my arms and ran off. That’s when my dream morphed into something else, becoming a phantom of sleep & consciousness.

…until I was walking to Cherry Market for coffee & eggs when a small orange* cat came running & meowing at me, as if I was the one he had been looking for. I noticed he looked domesticated and there was a telephone number on the circular golden charm that hung from his neck. I picked him up, and he snarled and clawed his way out of my arms the same way phantom Jones had hours before.

*This orange cat resembles the little catnip tiger I bought for Jones last month. I know things only have meaning when you define them & assign them a certain significance, but sometimes these patterns are inescapable. This past semester, one of my professors recommended that I read Jung (of whom I had barely skimmed the surface of in previous years of study) & I think maybe she’s right.

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sorry pal, wrong number:

I just venomously lashed out at a cat caller. In an instant, my blood flashed red hot and then congealed to a poisonous black. Usually I just ignore it; boys like that are of no use to me and aren’t worthy of any kind of attention whatsoever, but lately, the overt sleaziness of men has left me like a pot boiling over.

I’m never dog walking while that hungry ever again.

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