i don’t feel tardy

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My life now:

Getting recognized in a Taco Bell parking lot for being on Fox News.

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Protected: you can use these tears as a lubricant if you want:

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where i’m calling from:

img_1389

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mystery dinner

   
You can still keep things ultra spicy even if you have a geriatric stove that no longer has legible temperature control units because:

1: my cooking style is analogous to my romance style: INTUITIVE & RECKLESS

2: The only temperature setting in the Deckard kitchen is 🔥🔥🔥

Please check the comments if you don’t care for dangerous dinners & prefer your mysteries solved.🔎🍛

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World News Now: Dog Sells Adderal

Fell asleep to a news report about the increased rates of dogs being prescribed antidepressants and woke up a couple hours later panicking about the state of Oliver’s interior life. Wondering how long it will take for hyperactive dogs to be prescribed Adderal and how much longer until they’re selling it to their friends.

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Do you know who you are?

  

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